


I am ready to follow you even though I don't know where

by iamladyloki



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: F/M, Fix-It, Post-Canon, World Between Worlds, background Rey & Finn friendship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-14
Updated: 2020-02-14
Packaged: 2021-02-28 02:26:53
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,723
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22606231
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/iamladyloki/pseuds/iamladyloki
Summary: Her closest friends want Rey to move on from what happened on Exegol, but she refuses to accept that Ben Solo, her soulmate in the Force, is dead. Instead, she undertakes a rescue mission to bring Ben home--no matter the risk.
Relationships: Kylo Ren/Rey, Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren
Comments: 9
Kudos: 27
Collections: For one is both and both are one in love: The Reylo Fanfiction Anthology's Valentine's Day Exchange





	I am ready to follow you even though I don't know where

**Author's Note:**

  * For [AlwaysEverlark](https://archiveofourown.org/users/AlwaysEverlark/gifts).



Wind, hot, dry, and familiar, stirred the loose strands that escaped from Rey’s buns. She gazed at the setting suns of Tatooine, and felt a semblance of calm descend upon her. For the first time in her life, she knew who she was.

She was Rey, half of the dyad bond she shared with Ben Solo. Ben, who had paid the ultimate sacrifice in order for Rey to live. Ben, who had been taken from her before she could tell him....

After his body disappeared, Rey had nearly surrendered to despair. It was a loss she couldn’t cope with, couldn’t even process. The person she was connected to in the Force had gone to a place she couldn’t follow.

Until she could.

The Emperor thought that he broke the bond between Rey and Ben, but far from it--that bond was an endless well as deep as the Cosmic Force. It couldn’t be broken. Not by a Sith, not by Rey or Ben, and not even by death itself.

Rey would not give up on Ben. She was going to find him and bring him home.

* * *

“Rey…”

The voice drew the Jedi slowly from her meditation. She blinked to clear the brightness of the surrounding light from her eyes.

“Sorry,” said the familiar, sheepish voice. “I didn’t realize you were meditating. Again.”

She looked up to find Finn leaning against the doorway to her quarters. She furrowed her brow and with her eyes, wordlessly indicated for Finn to speak.

Finn exhaled slowly through his nose. “Rey, you’ve been at this for days. Don’t you think it’s time to…”

“Time to what, Finn?” Rey asked. Perhaps her tone was a touch too sharp, but her friend’s line of thought was enough to raise her hackles.

He scratched the back of his neck. “Look. Did you even know him? He was a bully, Rey. A murderer. Maybe he saved your life, but is that really enough to warrant all this trouble? Maybe you should just let him rest for good.”

She stood up sharply. Her heart began to pound in her chest. Anger was quick to rise these days; the frustration she felt over the lack of progression in finding Ben was constant. Rey opened her mouth to argue, but closed it slowly. She didn’t have time for this. Finn had every right to doubt Ben, but did he really have to doubt _her?_

In as calm a voice as she could manage, Rey posed this question to Finn. She could see hurt enter his eyes, but he didn’t argue.

“Okay,” he murmured. “Message heard, loud and clear. I’ll just go.”

Finn turned to walk away and Rey found herself saying, “Wait, Finn.” He paused and turned, a questioning look on his face. She walked over to him and hugged him tightly. “I need to do this,” she whispered. “Please trust me.”

“Of course I trust you, Rey,” Finn said quietly. “I’m sorry.”

* * *

Rey couldn’t explain it, this feeling of being tethered to an Other. Finn tried to understand, he truly did, but he would never get it. Many of her friends tried to help her, but everyone seemed unsure what she needed. How could Rey be honest with them? How could she tell him that the other half of her soul was dead, but somehow-- _somehow_ \--within reach? And that this person was one of the most wanted people in the galaxy?

Still, it was useless to worry about what her friends thought until she could actually find Ben.

The answer came in the most unexpected of places. It had been in front of her nose the entire time, in one of the very Jedi texts she had been relentlessly translating and studying.

_Chain Worlds Theorem._

_World Between Worlds._

_Vergence Scatter._

A place within the Force that connected all of time and space.

There was no explanation of how to access a door to this place beyond space and time, but it was a start. And Rey had an idea of where she could find further answers.

* * *

Ahch-To was as beautiful and desolate as Rey remembered.

The seasons must have changed; it was colder and the wind was sharper, pelting daggers of rain into Rey’s exposed skin. She glanced one last time at the Falcon, sitting emptier than it has been since Jakku. It had been difficult to leave her friends behind, but she would be back.

She had to do this. Thankfully, Finn, Rose, and the others understood. Even if they didn’t all know that her intention was to find Ben and bring him home.

Porgs were nestled down in their nests against the harsh weather. The Caretakers were nowhere to be seen, likely huddled in their huts with warm fires. The thala-sirens were beneath the waves, riding out the vicious weather conditions above the surface. Luke was nowhere to be seen.

Rey pulled her hood up and began the journey down, down, down. The cave that had given her the answer that she never wanted but desperately needed was strong with the Force. Strong enough that Rey suspected it was the entrance to this so-called Vergence Scatter.

Like before, it was calling her. She needed answers.

The rocks were slick with seawater and rain. She had to use her Jedi training just to have a semblance of balance. Her hands were scraped raw by the time she made it to the surface-level entrance. She gazed down into the deep dark. It held answers--she could feel it.

She closed her eyes, and jumped.

The current in the sea cave was strong, but Rey was stronger. She clambered up onto the limestone, shivering with cold. At least it wasn’t raining down here.

As she walked through the cavern, Rey felt different. This time, she knew who she was. This time, she knew what she was looking for.

The signs had been there all along. Before, Rey just hadn’t known what she was looking at.

Symbols were carved deep into the stone. Three figures were a common motif, appearing repeatedly as she made her way towards the mirror cave. She brushed her fingers along them as she walked, studying the patterns and the characters.

They were not in any of her ancient Jedi texts, but somehow, Rey knew who they were. They stood for the balance in the Force. The dark, the light, and the in-between.

Rey took a sharp breath when the narrow passageway opened up into the cavern that contained the mirror. She understood immediately, and smiled.

The mirror wasn’t a mirror at all. It was a door. And now Rey had the key to opening it.

She acted on pure instinct. She closed her eyes, reached out with the Force, and stepped forward. She should have been met with resistance from the physical barrier of the cave wall. Instead, she opened her eyes and found…

The bright hallway of a Resistance cruiser ship. She blinked and spun in place, unsure that she was seeing correctly. The doorway that she had just walked through had markings engraved all along the outside of it--circular and triangular symbols on both sides that led to a great tree, top and center--which indicated that it was a portal to Ahch-To. What was more, Rey’s connection to Ben felt stronger than it had since Exegol. A cautious smile lit up her face.

She turned around to face the hallway again. It was silent, and not--there were no sounds to indicate that she was on a real ship, but she could hear voices whispering and echoing around the hallway.

_“Help me, Obi-Wan Kenobi…”_

_“We have hope. Hope that things will get better. And they will.”_

Her connection with Ben tugged at her chest, propelling her forward. 

_“I am a Jedi, like my father before me.”_

_“We’ll see each other again. I believe that.”_

_“I lost my way for a long time. But now I have a chance to change things.”_

Doorway after doorway, Rey continued onward. Instinct, or perhaps the Force, demanded that she keep walking.

_“Their destiny should be trusted to the Force.”_

_“Forgive me. I feel it again. The pull to the light.”_

_“This is a new day, a new beginning.”_

She couldn’t be sure how long she walked, in this place between time, but eventually the hallway veered to the right. When Rey turned the corner, she froze. Her heart rate kicked into double time.

Ben.

He stood in front of a doorway, wearing pale Jedi robes that seemed to be a few inches too short. His expression looked gutted, as though he was watching something horrifying unfold.

_“It’s too late.”_

_“No it’s not. Leave here with me. Come home. We miss you.”_

_“I’m being torn apart. I want to be free of this pain.”_

Rey slowly continued forward, afraid to tear Ben away from the sight in front of him. She suspected she knew what he was witnessing, and felt horror flood into her veins. Perhaps she should--

_“I know what I have to do, but I don’t know if I have the strength to do it. Will you help me?”_

A tear streaked down Ben’s cheek. “No,” he said, groaning. 

_“Yes, anything.”_

He reached out a hand towards the door. In a choked voice, he begged, “No. Dad, don’t...”

The crackling sound of Kylo Ren’s lightsaber ignited, and Ben _roared,_ “NO!” His voice was guttural and in obvious emotional distress.

“Ben!” Rey called out. His gaze snapped to hers; tears still coated his face.

His expression became puzzled. He placed a hand over his chest, in the same place that Rey could feel their bond being tethered.

“Rey?” he asked, voice tentative.

She took a step forward. He was here. He was alive. He was...he was _alive!_

“Ben,” Rey repeated. Her voice became thick with emotions. She took another step forward. And another. Then they both lunged forward, unable to resist the call that their souls sang to each other.

They collided, a mass of desperate limbs. His arms wrapped around her, so tight that she could scarcely breathe. She returned the favor. 

“You’re really here?” Ben asked, visibly shaken by her presence. Rey understood the feeling.

“I am,” she said. “I’m here, Ben. You’re okay. You’re okay?”

His grip around her, which had loosened, tightened again. “I’m…” he trailed off. “I don’t know what I am.”

“That’s okay,” Rey whispered. She pressed her forehead to his shoulder. She’d never felt both so certain and uncertain about her life as she did just then. “I don’t know what I am, either. We’ll figure it out.”

Ben finally released his grip enough to pull back and look at her. “Why are you here?” he asked. His brow furrowed.

Rey mirrored his expression. “What do you mean? I’m here for you,” she said. “I came here to bring you home.”

“Home,” Ben echoed, voice quiet. “What home do I have to return to? My parents…” He swallowed thickly. “I will never be welcome. I should stay here, in this purgatory. Watching the wrongs that I have done.”

Rey’s heart broke. She tentatively reached a hand out and brushed her fingers along Ben’s cheek. He unconsciously leaned into the touch.

“You have me,” Rey said, tone firm. “We have each other.” She paused, and swallowed. Then she chuckled. “You can atone for your wrongs by coming with me. Not wandering a ship’s hallways in self-pity.”

“A ship?” Ben asked, confused. He looked around. “Is that what you see?”

“Yes…” Rey trailed off. Her eyes widened imperceptibly. “What do you see?”

“I see an expanse of nothingness,” Ben said, thoughtful. His voice became sad. “A galaxy empty of all stars and planets, except for broken pathways that lead to these doorways, which open elsewhere. To memories.”

“And the present, and probably the future,” Rey replied. “This place seems to be a physical manifestation of the Force that links all of time and space.”

Ben hummed in thought. “I can’t come with you, Rey.”

“What?” Rey asked, surprise shaking her to her core. “Why not?”

“Because of everything I’ve done,” he said. His voice cracked. “I…” he trailed off, and Rey realized that more tears were spilling from his eyes.

“Oh, Ben,” Rey whispered, and placed both of her palms on his cheeks. She rubbed the saltwater from his skin with her thumbs. His hands covered hers, as though her hands were a lifeline keeping him from drifting off into the deep nothingness of his reality.

“I’m sorry, Rey. I’m sorry.” His words became a mantra under his breath. _I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry._ She continued to hold him, refusing to move an inch until his tears dried and he ran out of apologies.

When he finally seemed to quiet down, Rey placed her hands behind his head and gently tugged him forward. She leaned her forehead against his.

“I forgive you.”

They remained in the same position for many minutes. The bond that connected them felt warm and settled between them, like she was finally where she belonged.

“Come back with me, Ben,” she whispered. “Please.”

He took a deep breath and finally leaned away from her so that he could look her in the eye. She removed her hands from the back of his head.

When he didn’t immediately say anything, Rey repeated for good measure, “Please.”

His lips twitched in what Rey suspected was amusement. “If you’re sure,” Ben said, and she could definitely tell that he was amused by her pleading.

“Please!” she said, and grinned. “Need more convincing? I can keep going.”

He shook his head. “I think I received your message.”

“Good. I didn’t do days of research on Vergence Scatter and risk everything just for you to reject me,” Rey said.

“I suppose I have no choice but to return with you,” Ben said. His tone was sly, but she could read the emotional agony that still weighed him down in his eyes.

Rey gently took both of his hands in hers and laced her fingers through his. “You always have a choice, Ben. I hope you know that I don’t ever want to take your choice away from you. But I desperately wish that you’d come back with me.”

She shrugged one shoulder. “Besides, if you joined me, you could actively atone for the wrongs you have done. Help me heal the galaxy. And if anyone questions your loyalty or sincerity, that means they are questioning me.”

Ben’s laugh was a single exhale. He squeezed her hands in his and said in a serious tone, “If it makes any difference, I trust you.”

“Good,” Rey said. “And I, you. If I hadn’t already made that obvious.”

It was very clear to Rey that those words meant a lot to Ben. His facial expression twitched in what seemed to be deep contemplation.

“I don’t deserve this chance,” Ben said, voice dull. “Not after everything. But I’ll go with you. I can’t promise...I can’t guarantee that I will be able to atone for all of my mistakes, but I’m going to try.” He met her gaze and nodded once. “I can at least try. I think I owe the galaxy, and my parents, that much.”

Relief flooded through Rey. For just a moment, she thought he was going to insist she return without him. She wrapped her arms around him in another embrace, then released him so that she could look him in the eye again.

“Thank you, Ben,” she said. She grinned. She wasn’t sure what she was thanking him for, exactly, but she did so anyway. In a softer tone, she added, “Your mum and dad would be proud.”

He looked away and she could see a film of tears over his eyes from her words.

“Come on,” Rey said, taking one of his hands in hers and tugging it forward. “Let’s go home.”

She tried to walk forward, but Ben’s grip held her in place. She spun back towards him, confused, and was met with the press of his warm lips. She closed her eyes and returned the kiss. They both seemed a little unsure, but they had plenty of time to figure it out. Together.

When they finally parted for a breath, Ben whispered against her lips, “Okay. Let’s go.”

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you enjoyed! I originally was going to write for a different prompt (Jedi Rey/Senator Ben)...but quickly realized my outline was massive and that there was NO way I had the time to write it before the deadline. So, surprise! I'm likely going to also fulfill that prompt at a later date, because I love it and my outline so much.
> 
> Title is from "Frozen Pines" by Lord Huron.


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